DUBLITH
The bar was called the Devil’s Den. It was in a bad part of town, and full of bad people. Deals went on at the Devil’s Den, deals involving drugs, sex, and services of the most illegal nature. Cash was God here, and all could be forgiven for enough of it.
Even the worst of sins…
One of those sins had his feet propped up on a comfy couch, at the minute. Two prostitutes curled up next to him, rubbing his shoulders and lounging against his leather jacket.
He was Greed, and if money was god here, then he was at least a king. He had the smile of a shark, and why shouldn’t he smile? After all, life was good.
A door shut behind him, and he heard the sound of three pairs of footsteps. Greed sighed and fished his glasses out of his pocket, flipping them open and using the reflections in the lenses to check behind him. Sure enough, a pinch-faced green-haired youth stood angrily between two of his employees.
“Take five, babes.” The prostitutes giggled, and helped themselves to a bowl of nearby opium pipes before heading out. Greed stood and stretched, turning around to look as he slid his glasses onto his face.
“What’s up, beansprout?”
“How long are you going to waste time on that couch?”
“As long as the women, wine, and drugs hold out.”
“We’re getting nothing done!”
Greed laughed. “Hey, I’ve been out of touch for a hundred-fifty years or so. Gotta catch up on my hedonism. And besides, isn’t this what our little alliance is for? Each of us gets to do what we want, with no one saying different?”
Greed smirked, as Envy glowered, and spat back. “Yes, but it’ll only stay that way as long as we stay sharp! And if we don’t get a leg up on the other two, Pride and Sloth will be able to pick us off at their leisure. They’ve got a COUNTRY behind them, in case you hadn’t noticed…”
Greed sat back on the couch, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Tamping them against his palm, he plucked one and lit it, taking drags of smoke.
“Pfft. Big deal. Military makes noise, and is pretty slow when you get down to it. We’ll know they’re coming miles away. I’ve got plenty more boltholes like this one, set up with the money I got before I was sealed. Some survived, some didn’t, but if they come for us we can get back to cover pretty easy. Smoke?”
Envy snorted. “Please. Why do you bother, anyway? It’s not like it does anything for you.”
Greed exhaled smoke through his nose, and grinned. “I do it because I can, kiddo. That’s all the reason I need.”
Envy shrugged, and sat down on the far end of the couch. “They WILL come for us. We know too much for them to let us be. I don’t care how many safehouses you’ve got, if we don’t get active we’re screwed. Plain and simple.”
Greed pondered Envy for a long minute, then nodded. “All right. You might have a point. So, how do we get active?”
“That woman.”
“Ah cripes, not that again. Roa, Martel, has he been pestering her?”
The two figures that had followed Envy into the room glanced at each other, and nodded. One was a large, burly silver-haired man in an old military greatcoat. The other was a slender young blonde woman in a tanktop, and camo pants. They were Roa and Martel, respectively, and they were no longer human.
“Yeah.” Martel said, in her normal, breathy voice. “He tried to pose as Dolcetto, and get into her room. Didn’t know Dolcetto was in there already, bringing her supper. That, and she started screaming up a ruckus the second he got in the door.”
Greed sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. Taking one last drag on the cigarette, he flicked it at Envy. “Would you lay off? You’re acting like a creepy stalker. Keep that up, you’ll never get any chicks.”
Envy practically shook with rage. “If you hadn’t BARRED me from her room, we would’ve had the truth by now! She KNOWS something, I can tell!”
“Right. Which is why you broke her arm on the trip down here, when she wouldn’t talk the first time.”
“A few fingers, that’s all it would take! I’m sure of it, she’s faking…”
Greed shook his head, and stood. “I don’t think so. After all this? Nah, it’s no act.”
“Well, then, what use do we have of her? If she honestly knows nothing, why not let me rip out a few fingers to make sure? Why not give her opium, and rent her out as a drugged prostitute, for that matter? Right now she’s a babbling, stupid, useless human LUMP. We might as well get some use from her!”
Martel shifted, her lips compressed. Roa said nothing, but the heavy furrows in his brow spoke volumes.
Greed clicked his tongue.
“Tch, no style at all. She’s pretty much a kid, in this state. And messin’ with kids? Fuckin’ lame. I shouldn’t have to tell you that.”
Envy smirked, but his teeth were grinding together under the smile. “So what, we take care of her the rest of her life? That’s pretty lame in itself. Has all that time sealed away in the Laboratory made you soft, Greed?”
Greed’s smile disappeared. He raised a hand toward Gluttony, that crackled as his skin hardened, and went to a sheer black substance.
“Try me.”
Envy’s eyes shifted left, to where Roa was slowly drawing his hammer off his back, and Martel was inching a long arm toward the knife in her boot.
Envy shrugged, and crossed his arms. “No, I don’t think so. But if you’re not trying to be a knight in shining armor, why bother? What do you get out of this?”
“Wise move.” Greed snapped his fingers, and his hand was once again skin. “It’s simple economics. For some reason we don’t know, she has value. Until we know why she has value, doing something to her might damage that value. So, we don’t break any more of her limbs, we don’t cut off her fingers, and since I know your temper, I don’t let YOU in the same room as her.”
“Got it? She’s MINE.”
“And I look after my own.”
The crisis defused, Roa and Martel took the opportunity to slip out of the room. Though they were careful to conceal it, they both had small smiles on their faces.
Envy’s eyes were narrow, as he twirled an opium pipe between his fingers, finally snapping the thing in two. Greed’s lips twitched, but he said nothing, watching the androgynous youth carefully.
“You know.” Envy said, considering as his fingers found the ground opium and started tearing the tiny ball to shreds. “We might have another option here.”
Greed looked sideways at him. “Yeah?”
“Instead of damaging her to find out the truth, we could increase her value. Fix her, get back her sanity if she had any to start with. More importantly, we could restore her memories. Then she’ll tell us what we need to know.”
Greed chuckled. “Neat trick. In your spare time, you want to cure cancer and end world hunger?”
“I’m serious. And the solution’s nothing I can do. After all, I can’t do alchemy.”
Greed leaned back in the couch.
“I’m starting to see where this is going… You think it might work?”
“I don’t see why not. Memories are determined by brain chemistry, and folds in the brain. They transfer across nicely, even if the soul doesn’t. I know I have memories, and you must too…”
Greed’s eyebrows raised, as he considered. His lips peeled back, and his shark’s grin surfaced, once more.
“Let me make sure we’re on the same page here, E.”
“Envy.”
“Yeah, but anyway... What you’re suggesting, is that we make a homunculus of little Miss Scatterbrain?”
“Precisely.”
“We’d need an alchemist for that.” Mused Greed.
“We already have one. Tucker.”
“Yeah, but to make a homunculus, you have to sacrifice. Don’t know if he’d be up for that.”
“What does it matter what he wants?”
“He’s working for me, it matters to ME.”
“All right, all right. If he refuses, we’ll just find another one to do it. Humans are gullible, there’s never a shortage of stupidity out there.”
“Well, gotta agree with that one. Oh, and one more thing…”
“What now?”
“If we do this, then we wait ‘till her arm’s healed.”
“What? Why?”
“Because, it might be permanently broken if we convert her over like this.”
“Who cares?”
“Idiot. Think about it. Not only will she have the information we need, she can also help us out…”
“…Against Pride and Sloth. Not bad, not bad.”
“Besides, she’s kinda cute. Once she gets her brains back, I want her on my good side.”
“You’re a letch, you know that?”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to pimp her out to pay her keep…”
“Heh, true. Alright, so we’re agreed?” Envy grinned, and held out his hand.
“Agreed. Won’t be doing her any favors… But on the upside, she’s got little enough to lose right now.”
"Let's do this."
They shook.
And in the Devil’s Den, life went on and the drinks flowed freely throughout the night…